John F. Kennedy Elementary and Erections
So, we were like eleven at the time. But the school wanted us to start learning about our bodies and how to take care of them and why it was alright to masturbate. Don't need one now, didn't then either. But shouts to John F. Kennedy Elementary. My old elementary school didn't want us to feel ashamed of our bodies, and that's a pretty progressive message to come out of Ponce de Leon.Anyways, anyways, one of the first topics we covered was puberty and how are bodies were changing. I didn't need that talk at age eleven. I already had a mustache, neck-beard, hairy legs, cracking voice, and was 5'9". Plus the constant erections. Listen to me, sex education came too late. I was a grown ass man at this point.
So, we're doing the talk about everything. But after reassuring us that this process was normal and we needed to learn how to love ourselves, we were asked to submit questions. The teacher emphasized this was "anonymous."
My friend Michael giggling like the little delinquent he is, asked me for pencil. He grabs a piece of paper and writes: Teacher, why does me pee pee get hard when I stand by some girls?
He's getting ready to turn the slip in, but I intercept that shit. I look him dead in the eyes and "It's not done yet." I sign it.
Now, at this point I have to tell you, we had another friend in the class: Carlos. He was a cool guy, but like four feet tall and chubby. I can say that, because I was chubby too. Carlos loved to talk big, and he was good at it. So when Michael wrote that note, I knew it couldn't be anonymous, Carlos needed to be humbled.
"Teacher, why does me pee pee get.... -- oh, uh, ooh, Students, erections are a normal part of getting older," the teacher was standing right by Carlos as she read it. He sat there. Just staring at her, wondering why she was hovering over him. "If you like a girl, you -- uh, might get one." Blank look on his face, he heard "penis" again and smirked at her. Lordy. She probably felt a chill thinking about this little pervy goblin lookin at her.
"It's all natural boys. Please, though, don't forget to leave your names off the paper." She thought he was too dumb to know what anonymous means.
The Confessions and Learning How to Love Your Body.
On the play ground Carlos was mad. "Whey wuz dat beach standing nay-xt to mee?" Me and Michael had to tell our boy. "Nooooo, whey jew dew det? Dets no funneh. Now she gonna dink I get haaaaaard all dey time."Yah, poor Carlos was hella red talkin about what happened.
In hindsight, it's probably good they kept us separate from the girls. When they did put us together, it was with the teacher no one liked.
Hear me out, she was legit horrible. Ol' girl had a speaker set in the classroom and was rigged with a mic. When she taught sex ed, we'd get this static voice breakin through the box yelling at us: "THE PENIS IS INSERTED INTO THE VAGINA... EJACULATION!" The girls at the table were blushing and the boys screaming as the teacher would lose her place. She'd yell at us, "Shut up and listen!... Good. The Penis --."
I got to see a baby get pushed out of its mom. She pushed so hard I thought the baby was going to fly out the window or something. Also, I don't feel any shame in my self. I'm beautiful. You're beautiful. But we're from Stockton, so we always gonna be a little gross.
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Safe Sex Score: Can a condom be used inside out/ 6
Maturity: Still laugh when I hear ejaculation/ 6
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